In this podcast I talk about the law of attraction and affirmations.
Forgiveness is a gift but given to whom? Is it the ultimate kindness extended to our offender? Perhaps. Most often, this is how forgiveness is viewed. Yet, the offender is not always in need of our forgiveness. In many cases, the offender doesn’t desire forgiveness or even recognize the offense. So, when you extend that ultimate kindness and it isn’t acknowledged, who benefits from your forgiveness? Was it a complete waste of your emotional energy to forgive someone who doesn’t want, need or acknowledge it? No. There is strong argument that forgiving is truly the greatest gift we can give our self for both our mental and physical health.
Unresolved Conflict and Your Health
The consequences of unresolved conflict may have little to no impact on your offender. However,
feelings of resentment, betrayal, anger, bitterness, hurt and disappointment can take a toll on our health. The psychological ramifications can include depression, anxiety and the constant and unescapable feeling of “fight or flight” mode when in the offender’s presence. While the physical effects of unresolved conflict creates high cortisol (stress hormone) levels. High cortisol levels can have a negative effect on our immune system leaving us susceptible to illness. Further, cortisol can trigger high blood pressure, weight gain, high cholesterol and risk of heart attack.
So, if forgiveness is more for you and your health, what does that mean? How do you go about forgiving someone if they don’t care or even recognize the offense? And what if the offense is so serious that you can’t even process the thought of forgiving them? Forgiveness is more than words and goes beyond saying, “I forgive you” to your offender.
Forgiveness is a Process
Forgiveness is a process, and, in some instances, it could be very simple and moving on comes easy. However, depending on the offense - it can often take weeks, months or even years to completely forgive. The process of forgiving starts with your conscious choice to forgive, knowing that you are doing it for you – not them. Once you have chosen to forgive and realize you are doing it for you, you need to reflect on the events and raw emotions of the offense.
Empathy also plays a role. This is not to say that you find an excuse for what someone did or say that it is okay. Rather, try to understand why they did it. You may also look back at your life and see where you may have offended someone. Were you forgiven? Do you feel you should have been? We are not perfect so recognize that humans make mistakes. For example, an abuser was often abused themselves. Or alcoholics often come from abusive relationships or have mental/physical considerations. Empathy is part of the process.
Health Benefits of Forgiveness
It goes without saying that if unresolved conflict has a negative impact on health, then forgiveness can lead to positive health benefits. Studies have been done that show forgiveness is an important part of our health and well-being. Those that forgive frequently and easily report being more satisfied with their lives and have less stress and anxiety. Releasing resentment can allow you to feel compassion… and you will sleep better! Forgiving may not come easy but with practice you become better at it, knowing you are doing it for you – not them!
Photo Credit: Rawpixel
The warm months of the year are finally upon us. For many people, that means coming up with fitness and wellness routines that will help them live a healthier life and look great while spending more time outdoors. If your spring and summer list of goals includes completing your first 5K, then you’re in luck! Because life coach Tony Palermo has put together a list of essential tools, including tech devices and apps, that can make training for your first big race so much easier.
A Reliable Smartwatch or Fitness Tracker
Preparing for a 5K is more about progress than perfection. So as you prepare for your first race, consider picking up a fitness tracker or smartwatch to keep yourself motivated. If you have it in your budget, opting for a smartwatch will give you more features for training and tracking your progress, as well as keeping you safe along the way. For example, the latest Apple watches come with an electrocardiogram (ECG) app to check your heart rate, as well as fall detection and Emergency SOS, both of which can alert emergency contacts or personnel in the event of a training emergency.
Looking for something that will track your training progress without adding a lot of cost to your budget? Then one of Digital Trends’s recommended low-cost fitness trackers may be your best bet. While these budget-friendly fitness trackers may not have as many bells and whistles as smartwatches, they offer some of the same progress-tracking features at a much lower price tag. That can be a major perk for new runners who are unsure of their fitness tracking needs.
Helpful Running and Training Apps
Another perk to having a smartwatch or fitness tracker for your 5K training program is that you can connect these devices to running apps on your smartphone, to create a custom training program that will have you race-ready in no time. If you truly are a beginner when it comes to running, then an app like C25K could provide the motivation and training you need to run your first 5K without any issues. C25K stands for Couch to 5K, and this app is aptly named because the included training features can turn any couch potato into a long-distance runner. You can customize your training program according to your abilities and the date of your first 5K race, and the training programs are fairly easy to follow.
The same company that developed C25K also makes other training apps, like 10K and half-marathon programs, if you decide to take your running goals to the next level. Other apps that can be useful for novice runners include training apps like Runcoach and music apps like Spotify, to make sticking to running goals easy and fun.
A Good Set of Headphones
At first glance, this may not seem like something you actually need to help you prepare for a 5K, but those who find inspiration in music will definitely want to pick up a great pair of headphones when they start training. Of course, headphones aren’t just for music! If you enjoy listening to audiobooks or your favorite podcast while you’re training, headphones can keep you motivated to push forward. Headphones come in a variety of different variations, so find a pair that suits your needs and get moving.
Properly-Sized Running Shoes
One of the perks of running a 5K is that you don’t need to invest in a ton of expensive equipment to be successful. While having a fitness tracker or smartwatch, as well as training apps, can make preparing for your first race a lot easier, you don’t necessarily need these gadgets and tools to fulfill your 5K goals. The one thing you do need, aside from a little grit and determination, is a supportive pair of shoes. Selecting the right shoes for your running style and race needs can keep you comfortable during your first 5K, but having the right support can also prevent injuries.
Start by determining whether your 5K will be held on paved road or trail, and then take a look at your current shoes to determine your personal running mechanics. If you want to take the guesswork out of investing in appropriate running shoes, you can also begin your shopping trip with a visit to a local sports equipment retailer or running supply store. If you need to find a 5K, these stores may have race and registration information on-hand as well.
Arming yourself with a few training tools can make achieving your 5K dreams a reality! So if your get-healthy goals include running a 5K, or even a 10K or half-marathon, be sure to keep this training guide handy. Reaching your goals is a great way to celebrate a new decade, and it’s a wonderful way to improve your health and wellness!
Are you hoping to reach even more personal goals in the coming months? Reach out to life coach Tony Palermo to get started on your journey to success and happiness!
Take Small Action Steps to Improve Your Mental Health and Well Being
Mindset is a powerful tool and can have an immense impact on well-being and mental health. Try these:
Exercise creates endorphins which triggers positive feelings in the body. Try these simple steps:
Jobs can be one of our greatest contributors to feeling stuck or in a rut. We give forty or more hours of our week to someone else and it can be exhausting. But you can make small changes to help alleviate that dread or feeling of being stuck in a rut. Try these small steps:
Relationships can also get to a point of feeling stuck. Maybe you have fallen into old habits or bad habits and your relationships just don’t have the same spark as they used to. Try some of these:
Self-care is often overlooked. We are often taught that self-care actions are… selfish. Perhaps, in a way. However, self-care is needed for overall well-being. So, try these:
There are a million and one small steps you can take to make some positive change and light a spark. Hopefully, reading this blog was your first small step! If you are looking for more ideas or small ways to take action, let’s chat!
We are always taught to speak to the people around us with dignity, respect, and kindness, so why don’t we speak to ourselves in the same way? Many of us are plagued by a negative sense of self, such as anxiety, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and depression, just to name a few. The law of attraction states that you will attract what you put into the world, meaning positive thinking will bring positive results, while negative thinking will bring negative results.
Studies completed by psychologists and neurologists have proven that something as simple as repeating positive affirmations to yourself (even if you get tired of doing so) actually creates different neural pathways within your brain, and can decrease levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), increase levels of serotonin (the happiness hormone) and improve mental focus. It can also help with coping skills, problem-solving, and overall better mood and wellbeing. On the other hand, studies have shown that repeating negative feelings or thoughts can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-worth, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), reduced levels of serotonin, and in some cases, physical illness.
Thinking positively doesn’t just provide incredible benefits for your brain, though. Positive thinking can have positive results on your physical health too, such as greater resistance to illnesses, better cardiovascular health, reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease, and a longer life span.
So, how do you begin making these changes in your life? Here are three things you can do to start:
1. Have intention. If you come into this journey with reservation, doubt, or fear, you are clouding your mind with negative “what if’s” that will ultimately stop the positives from being able to enter your life.
2. Surround yourself with like-minded people. It is no secret that the people you come into consistent contact with can affect the way you think, act, or speak, so it is extremely important to create room in your life for positive people rather than negative people.
3. Start small! It may seem overwhelming at first, especially if you habitually focus on the negatives or pessimistic views. Try repeating a few daily affirmations to yourself when you feel negative thoughts rising. Instead of saying,
a. “This is too much, I can’t do it,” try saying, “This may take some time and effort, but I can do it!”
b. “I’m not good at ___” try saying, “I need some extra practice with ___” (It’s okay to ask for help, too!!)
c. “I don’t deserve to be loved” try saying, “Everybody deserves to be loved, and I deserve to be loved just the way I am.”
d. Or say "Yes, I love and approve of myself just how I am."
Including positive thinking rituals into your life is not as silly as it seems. Positive affirmations will make you happier and help improve your overall mood. It has mental and physical benefits, will improve relationships, and can help you succeed in aspects of your life beyond what would’ve been possible with negative self-talk. If you are finding it hard to get started on this new path, I can help! Why not add positive thinking for a happier and healthier life?
Photo Credit: Unsplash
Guest article by Brad Krause
You see a lot about it online, but what is self-care, really? Well, if you’ve been thinking that it’s a luxury, you could be putting your mental well-being at risk. That’s because a few tried and true self-care routines are actually essential for managing your health and happiness. Not 100% sure where to start with building your own self-care habits? You can find plenty of resources to help on Tony Palermo’s website, but here are a few self-care basics you can use to take control of your mental health and your life today.
It sounds counter-intuitive but figuring out how to best care for your mental health can be pretty tricky. After all, our society tends to encourage us to look after others first. However, you can’t do so properly when you’re running on an empty tank. If you want to start making yourself a priority, it can help to have the support of empathetic professionals.
Regular counseling is a good place to start, and these services may be covered under your insurance plan, including Medicare Part B. Check with your insurance provider or Medicare agent to confirm coverage and then go over your policy every year so you’ll be aware of any changes. Need a little more guidance and support? Life coaching services from Tony Palermo can help you break free from feelings of overwhelm and help you gain control over your personal or professional life.
Think that you control your thoughts? As it turns out, it tends to be the other way around with your thoughts influencing your daily actions and moods. If you want to bring more positivity into your life, changing the way you think is one of the most effective ways to do so. It can take some practice, but when you think positively, you’re more likely to feel positive and confident.
Self-care is a wonderful way to begin retraining your brain for positivity. When you spend time taking care of yourself with exercise, diet, and healthy hobbies, you’re bound to begin feeling more balanced. Dancing, gardening, and crafting are all good ways to cultivate happiness.
By now you know the benefits of having the right professional support, but it’s also crucial for you to have support from your circle of loved ones. Humans are hardwired for social connection. We crave love and support from the people around us, so try to nurture the positive and supportive relationships you have to maintain your mental health and well-being.
Part of cultivating positive connections also involves letting go of negative ones. Each person in your life brings their own brand of energy to the table. If you’re constantly allowing those with negative energy into your space, you may find staying positive more difficult. Wondering why that is? The answer is that emotions are contagious, so surround yourself with positive ones.
Think about the last time you took a break and tried to relax. Was your mind filled with thoughts that you found difficult to turn off? That’s not uncommon, but it is a cycle that you can break by being more mindful. Mindfulness is a self-care tool you can use to retrain your brain to stay in the moment. As you practice more mindfulness, you’ll eventually feel calmer and more at peace.
Meditation is one of the most recommended methods for tapping into more mindfulness. You can start with just a few minutes each day and then build your practice from there. If you need some guidance to begin meditating, you can also look for apps to help retrain your thoughts.
Self-care isn’t optional if you want to stay in control of your mental health, but it also doesn’t have to be complicated. With a few basic self-care steps, you can improve your thoughts and manifest a better life for yourself. Because at the end of the day, you control your quality of life. You can also start controlling the way you think and feel for more health and happiness.
Want to take your mental wellness further? Download Tony’s book, Positive Thoughts Will Change Your Life!
I'm a life coach in California. Contact me if you have any questions.