In a partnership, it is not always easy to get along smoothly. Occasional arguments and malicious words are quickly uttered and can hurt. Sometimes thinking back and remembering a time together is an excellent option to avoid stress. Even people who have a long and happy relationship cannot do without arguments. We have collected ten statements from different life partners for you.
Lovers, relationships, and flirtations are all kindled by our love fire. Often you know after a few seconds whether someone is sympathetic or not. You also talk about whether you can smell someone good. This is due to hormones that our body deliberately releases to please a specific person. Our collection is a highly complex network of muscles, feelings, receptors, and our own will. This is precisely what makes us like a person. This text is about people who love each other like mad and sometimes can't stand each other.
1. Satisfaction is the basis of a healthy relationship
"I think a happy relationship depends on a great many factors. From my time of view, a lot has to do with satisfaction. Because if you are satisfied, you can also have a happy relationship. To be happy together, you need trust, fun, spontaneity, and just willingness. That also means compromising and not being resentful. Each of the two partners should approach the other and listen, even if it is sometimes tricky. However, it is crucial to try out something new and do joint ventures.
Vacation together, fun and mutual annoyance, and teasing can breathe new life into such a relationship. So, jerk and tickle each other on the couch or be a little childish. I'm happy when we do something together, even if it's just washing the car. The main thing is that I'm on the road with my partner. "
Mother of one, 35 years old from Texas.
2. Tolerance, love, and respect as pillars of the partnership
"Above all, it is love and the willingness to be tolerant. To know where your weaknesses lie and also the ability to express your own needs fairly. In my opinion, humor, a large portion of the trust, and the knowledge that you are the only one are essential. When you know that, you feel that you are being taken seriously.
There are a thousand little things that have an impact. You want to feel taken seriously and, above all, to be respected. After an argument, it is important to me that you can forgive and give each other space to think. Even after a case, one should be ready for a serious conversation and not be selfish. Besides, resolved issues should not be rehashed after three or four weeks. That only creates arguments and resentment.
I think you should - even if it's difficult - put your vanity back a little and communicate for it. That is very important: communication! But in the end, every relationship is very individual, and everyone finds their way. I think there is no universal recipe and no model solution. We are not all the same. However, shared goals and interests should be the basis of a healthy relationship. "
Mother of three from Chicago, IL, 51, divorced once and happily married.
3. Tension and surprises keep a relationship going
"In my opinion, it is essential to share standard views so that you know how to deal with each other in any situation! But the central focus for me is joy, trust, and of course, loves because you should never forget what you love about your partner!
Even if you are together for a more extended period, you should still have fun together; do lots of activities and never let "everyday life" return. Because then there is no tension and surprises in a relationship. In a dispute, it is essential that at least one of the two partners can approach the other. This creates a common path again. Even when you quarrel, you know inside how the situation is hurting. Of course, it is best not to argue in the first place, but that is, of course, difficult or impossible. In the end, you should hug each other again and again and makeup! "
A journalist from Florida, 34, in a relationship for almost 14 years
4. Trust is the most fundamental element in a relationship
For me, mutual trust comes first. Sometimes you should forgive mistakes and not take everything so crookedly! This is very important. After an argument, you should also learn to forgive and accept an apology more quickly. A clarifying conversation afterward can only help to express yourself. "
College student from University of Michigan, 18, in a relationship for over three years
5. Independence strengthens the relationship
"I think my relationship has lasted for over six years because my partner and I both have obligations and don't always sit on top of each other. Everyone has their everyday tasks to do, and so you are all the happier when you can end the evening together on the couch.
I think it is essential to put yourself in your partner's shoes and understand how they feel. Seldom you say things that you don't mean. But the spoken words hurt the partner. Then you shouldn't be stubborn and want to get your way, but should see the situation a little more loosely. The sooner they both find peace again. "
Mother of one, 29 years old from California.
6. A long relationship is based on honesty
"I conclude that a good relationship is based on trust and honesty. Without that, the association is just challenging to lead. You should swim in the same wave and be able to express your opinion.
I believe my relationship is still going because I have patience, and my sense of humor brings absolute ease into the contact. But I can also approach severe things with the appropriate sharpness. "
A student from the Harvard University, 26, in a relationship for over six years
7. Growing together and forgiving mistakes for a happy relationship
"A good relationship looks very different from person to person. Some have a happy relationship while giving themselves all the freedom. The other cannot let go of each other and feel satisfied in this way.
With my boyfriend and me, we have known each other for a long time and have become "more mature" together. We tell each other everything. Regardless of whether the other person likes it or not - everything is said. The most important thing is honesty. This creates trust - which is also the be-all and end-all. It is also essential to be able to have fun together. And as long as the conversation topics do not run out, you can have a long and happy relationship. That describes us best. It depends on which argument it was and how long you haven't had to deal with each other. If you have been betrayed and you still love, see if you can build trust again.
Of course, it also depends on whether the partner does not make the same mistake again. When it comes to minor disputes, you can always talk about anything. Provided, they both want a relationship. This is best to look for a compromise and not be a stubborn head - then everything can be beautiful again! "
Blogger from the South Daytona, 24, in a relationship for four years
8. Good relationships are based on honest communication
"The scales should always be balanced. There must be no egoism but the interlocking of giving and take. Mutual attention is also significant. And the feminine and masculine energies should also be heeded. Care must be taken that they do not shift these days."
Media workers from the Dallas Texas, 29, in a relationship for several years
9. Soulmates have the best common ground
"I understand that there is a "soul mate" for every human being who fits the other person precisely and that one is somehow meant for one another. But the most important thing for a relationship is that you have a common ground. You have to have the same ideas, dreams, or goals as your partner. This is the only way to lead a life together.
How do you want to shape your future together or raise children when you have entirely different views? In my opinion, two people who fundamentally disagree cannot have a relationship. Sooner or later, it breaks. This basis is just right with us.
Especially in very long relationships, you should reflect on what you have already experienced together and recalled the beautiful moments, even when everything looks gray and gloomy. Often you already know deep in your heart that you don't want to throw it all away just because you argued a little (harder).
Objective opinions from outside people can also help you think about your perspective and what you might have done wrong yourself. And after that, you should talk to each other and get rid of the matter. A serious apology or a small gift can help. "
A student from the Stanford University, 24, in a relationship for three years
10. A long relationship also needs a variety
"What has made me have a happy relationship for so long is that we treat each other with love and respect every day. (We at least try :-)) We are both willing to compromise. Otherwise, a relationship wouldn't work. We're both interested in keeping the relationship going because we realized that we were just a good fit.
Besides, we do not lie on the lazy side. I invest a lot in this relationship, and in that sense, I also expect to get it back. It should be a give and take. What helps to find each other again after an argument is some distance, even if it's only a few minutes. A little self-reflection can also help: What is the other trying to explain to me? Then you should work on problems and try to find a solution.
You may not find the right compromise for every problem, but it may still be worth trying. For a relationship to work well and for a long time, you need variety in everyday life. It sounds simple at first, but a short visit to a restaurant can help you be in a better mood. "
A mother of four, 35, married for 10 years
I'm a life coach in California. Contact me if you have any questions.