Forgiveness is a gift but given to whom? Is it the ultimate kindness extended to our offender? Perhaps. Most often, this is how forgiveness is viewed. Yet, the offender is not always in need of our forgiveness. In many cases, the offender doesn’t desire forgiveness or even recognize the offense. So, when you extend that ultimate kindness and it isn’t acknowledged, who benefits from your forgiveness? Was it a complete waste of your emotional energy to forgive someone who doesn’t want, need or acknowledge it? No. There is strong argument that forgiving is truly the greatest gift we can give our self for both our mental and physical health.
Unresolved Conflict and Your Health
The consequences of unresolved conflict may have little to no impact on your offender. However,
feelings of resentment, betrayal, anger, bitterness, hurt and disappointment can take a toll on our health. The psychological ramifications can include depression, anxiety and the constant and unescapable feeling of “fight or flight” mode when in the offender’s presence. While the physical effects of unresolved conflict creates high cortisol (stress hormone) levels. High cortisol levels can have a negative effect on our immune system leaving us susceptible to illness. Further, cortisol can trigger high blood pressure, weight gain, high cholesterol and risk of heart attack.
So, if forgiveness is more for you and your health, what does that mean? How do you go about forgiving someone if they don’t care or even recognize the offense? And what if the offense is so serious that you can’t even process the thought of forgiving them? Forgiveness is more than words and goes beyond saying, “I forgive you” to your offender.
Forgiveness is a Process
Forgiveness is a process, and, in some instances, it could be very simple and moving on comes easy. However, depending on the offense - it can often take weeks, months or even years to completely forgive. The process of forgiving starts with your conscious choice to forgive, knowing that you are doing it for you – not them. Once you have chosen to forgive and realize you are doing it for you, you need to reflect on the events and raw emotions of the offense.
Empathy also plays a role. This is not to say that you find an excuse for what someone did or say that it is okay. Rather, try to understand why they did it. You may also look back at your life and see where you may have offended someone. Were you forgiven? Do you feel you should have been? We are not perfect so recognize that humans make mistakes. For example, an abuser was often abused themselves. Or alcoholics often come from abusive relationships or have mental/physical considerations. Empathy is part of the process.
Health Benefits of Forgiveness
It goes without saying that if unresolved conflict has a negative impact on health, then forgiveness can lead to positive health benefits. Studies have been done that show forgiveness is an important part of our health and well-being. Those that forgive frequently and easily report being more satisfied with their lives and have less stress and anxiety. Releasing resentment can allow you to feel compassion… and you will sleep better! Forgiving may not come easy but with practice you become better at it, knowing you are doing it for you – not them!
Photo Credit: Rawpixel
The warm months of the year are finally upon us. For many people, that means coming up with fitness and wellness routines that will help them live a healthier life and look great while spending more time outdoors. If your spring and summer list of goals includes completing your first 5K, then you’re in luck! Because life coach Tony Palermo has put together a list of essential tools, including tech devices and apps, that can make training for your first big race so much easier.
A Reliable Smartwatch or Fitness Tracker
Preparing for a 5K is more about progress than perfection. So as you prepare for your first race, consider picking up a fitness tracker or smartwatch to keep yourself motivated. If you have it in your budget, opting for a smartwatch will give you more features for training and tracking your progress, as well as keeping you safe along the way. For example, the latest Apple watches come with an electrocardiogram (ECG) app to check your heart rate, as well as fall detection and Emergency SOS, both of which can alert emergency contacts or personnel in the event of a training emergency.
Looking for something that will track your training progress without adding a lot of cost to your budget? Then one of Digital Trends’s recommended low-cost fitness trackers may be your best bet. While these budget-friendly fitness trackers may not have as many bells and whistles as smartwatches, they offer some of the same progress-tracking features at a much lower price tag. That can be a major perk for new runners who are unsure of their fitness tracking needs.
Helpful Running and Training Apps
Another perk to having a smartwatch or fitness tracker for your 5K training program is that you can connect these devices to running apps on your smartphone, to create a custom training program that will have you race-ready in no time. If you truly are a beginner when it comes to running, then an app like C25K could provide the motivation and training you need to run your first 5K without any issues. C25K stands for Couch to 5K, and this app is aptly named because the included training features can turn any couch potato into a long-distance runner. You can customize your training program according to your abilities and the date of your first 5K race, and the training programs are fairly easy to follow.
The same company that developed C25K also makes other training apps, like 10K and half-marathon programs, if you decide to take your running goals to the next level. Other apps that can be useful for novice runners include training apps like Runcoach and music apps like Spotify, to make sticking to running goals easy and fun.
A Good Set of Headphones
At first glance, this may not seem like something you actually need to help you prepare for a 5K, but those who find inspiration in music will definitely want to pick up a great pair of headphones when they start training. Of course, headphones aren’t just for music! If you enjoy listening to audiobooks or your favorite podcast while you’re training, headphones can keep you motivated to push forward. Headphones come in a variety of different variations, so find a pair that suits your needs and get moving.
Properly-Sized Running Shoes
One of the perks of running a 5K is that you don’t need to invest in a ton of expensive equipment to be successful. While having a fitness tracker or smartwatch, as well as training apps, can make preparing for your first race a lot easier, you don’t necessarily need these gadgets and tools to fulfill your 5K goals. The one thing you do need, aside from a little grit and determination, is a supportive pair of shoes. Selecting the right shoes for your running style and race needs can keep you comfortable during your first 5K, but having the right support can also prevent injuries.
Start by determining whether your 5K will be held on paved road or trail, and then take a look at your current shoes to determine your personal running mechanics. If you want to take the guesswork out of investing in appropriate running shoes, you can also begin your shopping trip with a visit to a local sports equipment retailer or running supply store. If you need to find a 5K, these stores may have race and registration information on-hand as well.
Arming yourself with a few training tools can make achieving your 5K dreams a reality! So if your get-healthy goals include running a 5K, or even a 10K or half-marathon, be sure to keep this training guide handy. Reaching your goals is a great way to celebrate a new decade, and it’s a wonderful way to improve your health and wellness!
Are you hoping to reach even more personal goals in the coming months? Reach out to life coach Tony Palermo to get started on your journey to success and happiness!
Take Small Action Steps to Improve Your Mental Health and Well Being
Mindset is a powerful tool and can have an immense impact on well-being and mental health. Try these:
Exercise creates endorphins which triggers positive feelings in the body. Try these simple steps:
Jobs can be one of our greatest contributors to feeling stuck or in a rut. We give forty or more hours of our week to someone else and it can be exhausting. But you can make small changes to help alleviate that dread or feeling of being stuck in a rut. Try these small steps:
Relationships can also get to a point of feeling stuck. Maybe you have fallen into old habits or bad habits and your relationships just don’t have the same spark as they used to. Try some of these:
Self-care is often overlooked. We are often taught that self-care actions are… selfish. Perhaps, in a way. However, self-care is needed for overall well-being. So, try these:
There are a million and one small steps you can take to make some positive change and light a spark. Hopefully, reading this blog was your first small step! If you are looking for more ideas or small ways to take action, let’s chat!
We are always taught to speak to the people around us with dignity, respect, and kindness, so why don’t we speak to ourselves in the same way? Many of us are plagued by a negative sense of self, such as anxiety, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and depression, just to name a few. The law of attraction states that you will attract what you put into the world, meaning positive thinking will bring positive results, while negative thinking will bring negative results.
Studies completed by psychologists and neurologists have proven that something as simple as repeating positive affirmations to yourself (even if you get tired of doing so) actually creates different neural pathways within your brain, and can decrease levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), increase levels of serotonin (the happiness hormone) and improve mental focus. It can also help with coping skills, problem-solving, and overall better mood and wellbeing. On the other hand, studies have shown that repeating negative feelings or thoughts can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-worth, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), reduced levels of serotonin, and in some cases, physical illness.
Thinking positively doesn’t just provide incredible benefits for your brain, though. Positive thinking can have positive results on your physical health too, such as greater resistance to illnesses, better cardiovascular health, reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease, and a longer life span.
So, how do you begin making these changes in your life? Here are three things you can do to start:
1. Have intention. If you come into this journey with reservation, doubt, or fear, you are clouding your mind with negative “what if’s” that will ultimately stop the positives from being able to enter your life.
2. Surround yourself with like-minded people. It is no secret that the people you come into consistent contact with can affect the way you think, act, or speak, so it is extremely important to create room in your life for positive people rather than negative people.
3. Start small! It may seem overwhelming at first, especially if you habitually focus on the negatives or pessimistic views. Try repeating a few daily affirmations to yourself when you feel negative thoughts rising. Instead of saying,
a. “This is too much, I can’t do it,” try saying, “This may take some time and effort, but I can do it!”
b. “I’m not good at ___” try saying, “I need some extra practice with ___” (It’s okay to ask for help, too!!)
c. “I don’t deserve to be loved” try saying, “Everybody deserves to be loved, and I deserve to be loved just the way I am.”
d. Or say "Yes, I love and approve of myself just how I am."
Including positive thinking rituals into your life is not as silly as it seems. Positive affirmations will make you happier and help improve your overall mood. It has mental and physical benefits, will improve relationships, and can help you succeed in aspects of your life beyond what would’ve been possible with negative self-talk. If you are finding it hard to get started on this new path, I can help! Why not add positive thinking for a happier and healthier life?
Photo Credit: Unsplash
Guest article by Brad Krause
You see a lot about it online, but what is self-care, really? Well, if you’ve been thinking that it’s a luxury, you could be putting your mental well-being at risk. That’s because a few tried and true self-care routines are actually essential for managing your health and happiness. Not 100% sure where to start with building your own self-care habits? You can find plenty of resources to help on Tony Palermo’s website, but here are a few self-care basics you can use to take control of your mental health and your life today.
It sounds counter-intuitive but figuring out how to best care for your mental health can be pretty tricky. After all, our society tends to encourage us to look after others first. However, you can’t do so properly when you’re running on an empty tank. If you want to start making yourself a priority, it can help to have the support of empathetic professionals.
Regular counseling is a good place to start, and these services may be covered under your insurance plan, including Medicare Part B. Check with your insurance provider or Medicare agent to confirm coverage and then go over your policy every year so you’ll be aware of any changes. Need a little more guidance and support? Life coaching services from Tony Palermo can help you break free from feelings of overwhelm and help you gain control over your personal or professional life.
Think that you control your thoughts? As it turns out, it tends to be the other way around with your thoughts influencing your daily actions and moods. If you want to bring more positivity into your life, changing the way you think is one of the most effective ways to do so. It can take some practice, but when you think positively, you’re more likely to feel positive and confident.
Self-care is a wonderful way to begin retraining your brain for positivity. When you spend time taking care of yourself with exercise, diet, and healthy hobbies, you’re bound to begin feeling more balanced. Dancing, gardening, and crafting are all good ways to cultivate happiness.
By now you know the benefits of having the right professional support, but it’s also crucial for you to have support from your circle of loved ones. Humans are hardwired for social connection. We crave love and support from the people around us, so try to nurture the positive and supportive relationships you have to maintain your mental health and well-being.
Part of cultivating positive connections also involves letting go of negative ones. Each person in your life brings their own brand of energy to the table. If you’re constantly allowing those with negative energy into your space, you may find staying positive more difficult. Wondering why that is? The answer is that emotions are contagious, so surround yourself with positive ones.
Think about the last time you took a break and tried to relax. Was your mind filled with thoughts that you found difficult to turn off? That’s not uncommon, but it is a cycle that you can break by being more mindful. Mindfulness is a self-care tool you can use to retrain your brain to stay in the moment. As you practice more mindfulness, you’ll eventually feel calmer and more at peace.
Meditation is one of the most recommended methods for tapping into more mindfulness. You can start with just a few minutes each day and then build your practice from there. If you need some guidance to begin meditating, you can also look for apps to help retrain your thoughts.
Self-care isn’t optional if you want to stay in control of your mental health, but it also doesn’t have to be complicated. With a few basic self-care steps, you can improve your thoughts and manifest a better life for yourself. Because at the end of the day, you control your quality of life. You can also start controlling the way you think and feel for more health and happiness.
Want to take your mental wellness further? Download Tony’s book, Positive Thoughts Will Change Your Life!
One of the best skills you will ever learn in your life is how to deal with difficult people, not just in the workplace, but in any environment. Inevitably, situations will arise in which you will need to be well-equipped in interacting with people who are unnecessarily unfriendly, rude, or simply do not want to cooperate. Learning how to handle people like that is an important aspect of teamwork and knowing how to deal with someone who is difficult and uncooperative will come handy in many different circumstances. It is important to learn about conflict-resolution and gain the courage to know what to do when someone is being unjust or unreasonably difficult. This will help not just you personally and as an employee, but those around you, and the workplace environment as well.
There are different ways in which a person can be challenging. Someone who is difficult might be a generally tough person to deal with, and this can be something that your co-workers recognize or experience as well. This situation can be easier to deal with, since it can be comforting and helpful to know that you are not alone in approaching the person and addressing the issues that may exist because of their temperament or behavior. You may want to discuss the issue with your co-workers or boss and seek their help in addressing any problems that are occurring in the workplace due to the difficult individual. Create a plan of approach that allows the other person to also speak their concerns and work alongside you to create a better work environment.
Conversely, a difficult person may also affect you personally, and single you out in a manner that is quite similar to bullying. In these situations, it can be hard to stand up for yourself and speak out, particularly if these interactions are not evident or do not occur in front of others. It is very important that you recognize your right to speak up for yourself, and to address the issue individually or with the help of another co-worker or boss as a mediator if necessary. It is best that you address the issue when it comes up, rather than ignoring it and letting your discomfort or anger simmer. Ignoring the problem might lead to more difficulties. If the issue you are having with a co-worker is one in which you may be able to resolve between yourselves, the best thing to do is to take them aside and communicate your concerns with a good and friendly attitude. Be open to addressing mistakes on your part. Be prepared to set aside your emotions and to be reasonable, giving the other person the time to explain their side of the situation too.
Dealing with difficult bosses or managers can be more difficult, since they tend to have more authority over you and thus it is more distressful to approach them and discuss any issues you may be dealing with. Like your co-workers, you must approach them with reason and be prepared to hold your ground in addressing any problems. Communication is a necessary part of solving conflicts, and this goes for co-workers, bosses, or anyone.
Never forget that you have a big role in creating and maintaining meaningful and cooperative relationships at work. Approaching your job and co-workers with a positive and uplifting attitude can have a great impact not just on yourself and the work you do, but on the others as well. The situations you may deal with, and your reactions to them, can have a great impact on whether the conflict worsens or gets better. Sometimes, with your friendliness and willingness to adapt, you can even help to resolve difficulties without ever having to confront the other person at all.
These difficult people and conflicts can arise in any environment, even outside of work. It is very important to learn how to deal with problems that arise, and there are many ways that you can better prepare and equip yourself to do so. In the end, it is best to remember that sometimes people can be difficult, and it is not your fault, or your responsibility to change them. If the situation or person becomes too arduous to handle, always know that leaving your current employment for a better workplace environment is always an option, too.
Manifestation may seem like a new and mainstream idea, but it is something that has been around for quite a long time. As the world turns to meditation, positive change, and affirmations, manifestation too has become a topic more and more people seek to understand and explore.
What is “manifestation”?
Manifestation can be defined as turning your dreams into reality. By definition, “manifest” means to “make clear, to appear.” Through manifestation you can basically make that which you want “appear,” as it were – although may be simplifying it a little.
The idea is that if you really want something and put your mind and thought – and thereby, work – towards it, you will be able to attain almost anything that you want. Obviously, this is dependent too on the physical and natural laws of the universe (so you can’t manifest something impossible like a helicopter appearing in your backyard five minutes from now), but as long as it is realistic, it is possible.
Does manifesting really work?
Manifestation may seem like a simple trick at first. Maybe that’s why it seems so impossible to many – because it really doesn’t seem that hard from the outside. The problem lies not necessarily in the steps, however, or the process in which you try to manifest what you want. The biggest part of manifesting anything is having the deep, complete believe that you want and deserve that which you are manifesting. This means that if you don’t actually believe that you want what you are seeking, or think that you are unworthy of that which you are trying to manifest, the likelihood of it working lowers significantly. You have to be convinced that this is what you deserve, what you want, from the bottom of your heart and soul.
The only thing stopping you is yourself.
So, how can I manifest something in my life?
Manifestation can be summed up into five simple stages: choosing a realistic goal, letting go of doubt, focusing your attention towards your goal, working towards it, and feeling gratitude.
How To Manifest What You Want
One: Be specific and realistic
When trying to manifest something, anything goes – well, almost. There are some things that are simply physically and realistically not possible. Trying to manifest something that you don’t really believe can happen won’t work, because you can’t fool yourself into believing something that is literally impossible. You must choose something that you know can and will happen. Once you have decided what you want to manifest, make your intention clear and specific – answer basic questions like who, what, when, where, and why?
Two: Let go of doubts and obstacles
The biggest block to manifestation is doubt. As long as you don’t realize and trust in your heart that you will be able to manifest that which you want, it probably won’t work. Part of this process may even include getting rid of people or things that cause you doubt or hold you back. Once you let go of hesitation and trust the process, you will be one step closer to successful manifestation.
Three: Focus on what you are trying to manifest
After setting your intention, it is helpful to visualize what it would feel like to receive what you’re trying to manifest. This is similar to step one, except you imagine it. Close your eyes. Where are you? Who are you with? What is happening? Most importantly, how do you feel? The first emotion that you most likely experience is gratitude. Focus on that feeling – it’ll be useful for step five, too.
Four: Work towards that goal
Nothing works unless you do. The result of taking the previous steps is that, more than likely, you will subconsciously already be doing this. If you’re putting all your attention towards something, then you’re also thinking about ways to achieve it or what decisions to make that’ll take you closer to it.
Five: Feel gratitude and appreciation
This is the most important step. As was mentioned in the second step, you have to focus on the feeling of gratitude and appreciation that you would feel if you had already received it. That is, even though you haven’t reached your goal yet, you must continue to feel appreciation for what you do have, and what you believe you should and will have.
Manifestation can seem almost too good to be true. However, if you follow these steps and have faith in its success, you too will be able to manifest anything you want! No one said it better than Napoleon Hill: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
In a partnership, it is not always easy to get along smoothly. Occasional arguments and malicious words are quickly uttered and can hurt. Sometimes thinking back and remembering a time together is an excellent option to avoid stress. Even people who have a long and happy relationship cannot do without arguments. We have collected ten statements from different life partners for you.
Lovers, relationships, and flirtations are all kindled by our love fire. Often you know after a few seconds whether someone is sympathetic or not. You also talk about whether you can smell someone good. This is due to hormones that our body deliberately releases to please a specific person. Our collection is a highly complex network of muscles, feelings, receptors, and our own will. This is precisely what makes us like a person. This text is about people who love each other like mad and sometimes can't stand each other.
1. Satisfaction is the basis of a healthy relationship
"I think a happy relationship depends on a great many factors. From my time of view, a lot has to do with satisfaction. Because if you are satisfied, you can also have a happy relationship. To be happy together, you need trust, fun, spontaneity, and just willingness. That also means compromising and not being resentful. Each of the two partners should approach the other and listen, even if it is sometimes tricky. However, it is crucial to try out something new and do joint ventures.
Vacation together, fun and mutual annoyance, and teasing can breathe new life into such a relationship. So, jerk and tickle each other on the couch or be a little childish. I'm happy when we do something together, even if it's just washing the car. The main thing is that I'm on the road with my partner. "
Mother of one, 35 years old from Texas.
2. Tolerance, love, and respect as pillars of the partnership
"Above all, it is love and the willingness to be tolerant. To know where your weaknesses lie and also the ability to express your own needs fairly. In my opinion, humor, a large portion of the trust, and the knowledge that you are the only one are essential. When you know that, you feel that you are being taken seriously.
There are a thousand little things that have an impact. You want to feel taken seriously and, above all, to be respected. After an argument, it is important to me that you can forgive and give each other space to think. Even after a case, one should be ready for a serious conversation and not be selfish. Besides, resolved issues should not be rehashed after three or four weeks. That only creates arguments and resentment.
I think you should - even if it's difficult - put your vanity back a little and communicate for it. That is very important: communication! But in the end, every relationship is very individual, and everyone finds their way. I think there is no universal recipe and no model solution. We are not all the same. However, shared goals and interests should be the basis of a healthy relationship. "
Mother of three from Chicago, IL, 51, divorced once and happily married.
3. Tension and surprises keep a relationship going
"In my opinion, it is essential to share standard views so that you know how to deal with each other in any situation! But the central focus for me is joy, trust, and of course, loves because you should never forget what you love about your partner!
Even if you are together for a more extended period, you should still have fun together; do lots of activities and never let "everyday life" return. Because then there is no tension and surprises in a relationship. In a dispute, it is essential that at least one of the two partners can approach the other. This creates a common path again. Even when you quarrel, you know inside how the situation is hurting. Of course, it is best not to argue in the first place, but that is, of course, difficult or impossible. In the end, you should hug each other again and again and makeup! "
A journalist from Florida, 34, in a relationship for almost 14 years
4. Trust is the most fundamental element in a relationship
For me, mutual trust comes first. Sometimes you should forgive mistakes and not take everything so crookedly! This is very important. After an argument, you should also learn to forgive and accept an apology more quickly. A clarifying conversation afterward can only help to express yourself. "
College student from University of Michigan, 18, in a relationship for over three years
5. Independence strengthens the relationship
"I think my relationship has lasted for over six years because my partner and I both have obligations and don't always sit on top of each other. Everyone has their everyday tasks to do, and so you are all the happier when you can end the evening together on the couch.
I think it is essential to put yourself in your partner's shoes and understand how they feel. Seldom you say things that you don't mean. But the spoken words hurt the partner. Then you shouldn't be stubborn and want to get your way, but should see the situation a little more loosely. The sooner they both find peace again. "
Mother of one, 29 years old from California.
6. A long relationship is based on honesty
"I conclude that a good relationship is based on trust and honesty. Without that, the association is just challenging to lead. You should swim in the same wave and be able to express your opinion.
I believe my relationship is still going because I have patience, and my sense of humor brings absolute ease into the contact. But I can also approach severe things with the appropriate sharpness. "
A student from the Harvard University, 26, in a relationship for over six years
7. Growing together and forgiving mistakes for a happy relationship
"A good relationship looks very different from person to person. Some have a happy relationship while giving themselves all the freedom. The other cannot let go of each other and feel satisfied in this way.
With my boyfriend and me, we have known each other for a long time and have become "more mature" together. We tell each other everything. Regardless of whether the other person likes it or not - everything is said. The most important thing is honesty. This creates trust - which is also the be-all and end-all. It is also essential to be able to have fun together. And as long as the conversation topics do not run out, you can have a long and happy relationship. That describes us best. It depends on which argument it was and how long you haven't had to deal with each other. If you have been betrayed and you still love, see if you can build trust again.
Of course, it also depends on whether the partner does not make the same mistake again. When it comes to minor disputes, you can always talk about anything. Provided, they both want a relationship. This is best to look for a compromise and not be a stubborn head - then everything can be beautiful again! "
Blogger from the South Daytona, 24, in a relationship for four years
8. Good relationships are based on honest communication
"The scales should always be balanced. There must be no egoism but the interlocking of giving and take. Mutual attention is also significant. And the feminine and masculine energies should also be heeded. Care must be taken that they do not shift these days."
Media workers from the Dallas Texas, 29, in a relationship for several years
9. Soulmates have the best common ground
"I understand that there is a "soul mate" for every human being who fits the other person precisely and that one is somehow meant for one another. But the most important thing for a relationship is that you have a common ground. You have to have the same ideas, dreams, or goals as your partner. This is the only way to lead a life together.
How do you want to shape your future together or raise children when you have entirely different views? In my opinion, two people who fundamentally disagree cannot have a relationship. Sooner or later, it breaks. This basis is just right with us.
Especially in very long relationships, you should reflect on what you have already experienced together and recalled the beautiful moments, even when everything looks gray and gloomy. Often you already know deep in your heart that you don't want to throw it all away just because you argued a little (harder).
Objective opinions from outside people can also help you think about your perspective and what you might have done wrong yourself. And after that, you should talk to each other and get rid of the matter. A serious apology or a small gift can help. "
A student from the Stanford University, 24, in a relationship for three years
10. A long relationship also needs a variety
"What has made me have a happy relationship for so long is that we treat each other with love and respect every day. (We at least try :-)) We are both willing to compromise. Otherwise, a relationship wouldn't work. We're both interested in keeping the relationship going because we realized that we were just a good fit.
Besides, we do not lie on the lazy side. I invest a lot in this relationship, and in that sense, I also expect to get it back. It should be a give and take. What helps to find each other again after an argument is some distance, even if it's only a few minutes. A little self-reflection can also help: What is the other trying to explain to me? Then you should work on problems and try to find a solution.
You may not find the right compromise for every problem, but it may still be worth trying. For a relationship to work well and for a long time, you need variety in everyday life. It sounds simple at first, but a short visit to a restaurant can help you be in a better mood. "
A mother of four, 35, married for 10 years
When we think of love, we often think of fiery romances and passion, but that's not love. Love is genuinely knowing someone and accepting them despite their flaws. Love is treating your partner with respect and dignity. Love is mutually supporting one another's goals.
Well, love doesn't stop with your partner. Those same behaviors that come with loving another are imperative when it comes to loving yourself. I want to help you with this sometimes difficult path to self-love. When you love yourself, the world is a brand new place. You start each day in a better place. You start treating yourself better. Every aspect of your life will improve.
The first step to loving yourself is simply being kind to yourself. I know you're thinking it's easier said than done, but it's true. You wouldn't make friends with someone who was always saying awful things about you, would you?
Then why do you allow it from yourself?
Be Nice To Yourself
As children, we chanted it. "Sticks and stones will break my bones. But words will never hurt me." We were wrong. Words can be damaging. They can decimate relationships and destroy self-confidence. They can bully, and they can demean. However, if used correctly, words can also inspire, uplift, and encourage. While it is important we say the right words to those we care about; it is even more vital that we choose the right words we are saying to ourselves. These words become our truths. They impact how we see ourselves and, in turn, how we project ourselves out into the world.
If you've ever thought negative thoughts about yourself, if you've ever run yourself down over mistakes you've made, if you've ever just been outright mean to yourself, let's take the first steps to change that today. It doesn't come easily, nor does it always come naturally, but if you are willing to do the work, you will see amazing results in all facets of your life.
If you've looked into self-help, I'm sure you've come across words of affirmation. Even if they sounded cheesy, don't brush them off just yet. Studies have shown these positive declarations open people up to a higher possibility of behavioral change. They also decrease stress and increase overall well being.
For an affirmation to be effective, it needs to be positive, and it needs to be current. It is crucial not to choose a statement such as "I am not a bad person." Your mind always hones in on the negatives. You will be repeating "bad person," and it will stick. Instead, choose "I am a good person!" Note how I kept it current. Choosing "I will be a good person" will only reiterate to yourself that you are not there yet! But you are! Own your words and rewire that brain!
For the most powerful results, it is best to focus on one affirmation at a time and truly commit to it. You are just starting out, and there is no need to overwhelm yourself just yet. Use the words as your new mantra. Speak the words to yourself as you get ready in the morning, on your commute, or when you need a pick me up.
Do you feel silly talking to yourself? Not all affirmations need to be spoken aloud. Some people work better with the written word. That's an entirely acceptable approach to this exercise. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down your affirmations. It doesn't matter how you're getting them out of your head and into the world; it only matters that you are getting them out there.
Our brains are designed with the ability to change. When you use your positive statements, you begin that rewiring process. You will start to alter your passive thoughts away from the negatives, and you will be amazed at how your outlook starts to change.
This path to self-love will completely alter your life. You will begin to see things in a different light, starting with yourself. Your health will start to improve. When you love yourself, you care about your body. You want it to keep going to support you through all stages of your life. I just know you'll start feeling better from the inside out.
Relationships with others only become better when the relationship with yourself grows. No longer are you riddled with self-doubt and low self-esteem. Instead, you are confident and ready to make that new friend. You are more willing to put yourself out into the world when you love the skin that you are in.
And, when you put yourself out into the world, there are opportunities aplenty. Your motivation will begin running high, and the drive to succeed is immense. There is nothing you can't do! With all of this confidence, you are sure to take on that next promotion at work with ease. Or perhaps make that leap to starting your own business. Whatever you want, it's suddenly in the cards for you.
Maybe the most satisfying part of self-love is the freedom you will feel. When you genuinely love yourself, the expectations others hold for you are irrelevant. You already know who you are and what you want. The immense feeling of just being yourself is incredibility freeing. You are free to get out there and take on the world.
What's the first thing you're going to tackle? You are capable of all of it.
I'm a life coach in California. Contact me if you have any questions.