My new book, Positive Thoughts Will Change Your Life, is now available.  I feel so blessed to have been able to share my experiences with everyone in this book.  This article will explain why I wrote this book and how being more positive has helped me.
       Sometimes, we all experience things that have a direct impact on how we feel.  When I was around 20, I had a big breakup, and this made me feel low and depressed, which is very normal after a breakup, but for me, it lasted a long time.  I could not figure out a way to move past it and move on.  I almost felt stuck in one place, no matter what I did.
      Moving along, years went by and my mood was like an up and down roller coaster. One day, I would be OK; the next I would have great sadness.  I tried everything that people told me to try. I did talk therapy, and I talked my head off until I realized it was not helping all that much.  I tried hypnosis, hypnotherapy, and medication.  The medication and talk therapy helped a little bit but nothing got me to 100 percent.  I just felt very sad some days, and I did not know why.
       I met my life coach, and he taught me about affirmations and thinking positively.  This was the key for me because I now realize I was feeling low because I was thinking negatively. I would wake up and just think I feel sad today, and I would create this in my life with my thoughts.  Even if I wanted to be happy, I would just think of myself as being and feeling sad, so I did not have a chance to become happy because of my negative thinking.   My life coach taught me to change my negative thinking to more positive thinking.  This helped me so much in my life.
        After I started thinking in a positive way and saying affirmations, I slowly started to feel better.  I felt happy for more than a day or two at a time, which had not happened in years.  I finally felt a sense of normalcy.  Let me just say this did not happen overnight.  So many people want an instant fix, and for me, it took months of thinking positively to change the way I was feeling.  This was due to my thinking in such a negative way for so long that it took months to change the way I was thinking and feeling.  The way I think of it is this; when a cruise ship wants to change direction, it can’t just change quickly. It takes a while for it to change directions.  This is how it was for me.  It took a long time for me to change the way I was thinking, but sometimes, good things in life take a while.
       I’m telling you this because many people want an instant fix.  This is not always possible because it takes time to change the way we think.  When you start to think more positively, don’t worry when you go back to thinking negatively; just brush the negative thinking aside and say, “I no longer need those thoughts.”  We all go back to the way we were thinking because we are so used to thinking that way.  It might take a few months of thinking in a positive way to impact your life.  The one thing I can tell you is never give up because, in time, you will change your thinking, and you will feel better.
         In my book, Positive Thoughts Will Change Your Life, I go into more detail about my situation and what I did to help myself.  But for this article, I just want you to know that you can feel better, and you can change your life by changing your thoughts.  You just can’t give up and say this is how it is and there is nothing more I can do.  You can do something. You can change your thoughts, and you can change your life.
        One thing I will say is, if you are feeling down or sad, ask for help.  Talk with your doctor or a close friend and see if you can get help.  I’m a firm believer that every type of medicine has a place in this world.  Medication might help some people, while it might not help others, just as hypnosis or hypnotherapy or even thinking in a more positive way might not help everyone.  But that’s why we have so many good choices in life.  You can do anything if you think you can.
        The best thing about doing affirmations and thinking more positively in your life is you can do it, even if you are doing other forms of therapy.  Remember, a positive thought in your life will get you positive results if you don’t give up.

My new book "Positive Thoughts Will Change Your Life" is now available.  Below are images of the front and back cover.  I'd like to thank Gary Quinn for writing the foreward to the book.  Thank you Lisa Kitter and Nancy Rarick for reviewing the book.  You will be able to buy the new book in my store and on Amazon.

You can now order my book from Amazon.

​            When you say an affirmation like, “Yes, I am happy” or “Yes, I have a great new job,” this goes out into the universe and will come back to you.  This is why, when you say an affirmation long enough, you can manifest it.  It’s the law of attraction working in your life.
            The law of attraction says, whatever you think about, you will attract it into your life.  So, if you think of yourself as having a great, happy, and successful day, you will manifest it.  If you think a positive thought over and over again, you will attract positive results.  The same is true; if you think in a negative way, you will attract negative results.  So, I tell all my clients to learn to think in a positive way to create the positive results you really want in your life.
            This is why our thoughts are so important.  When you use your time and energy to think in a positive way, instead of a negative way, we can change your life.  Think of it this way; would you rather be around someone who is always positive or always negative?  Negative people bring themselves and the people around them down.  I don’t know about you, but I would much rather be around someone who is positive and happy in life.  When I’m around someone like this, it almost rubs off on the people around them.  We all feel happy and more positive.
            If you are feeling like you are not the most positive person, the first thing to do is change your thinking.  When you wake up, say, “Yes, I am happy and I am more positive.” This is a great affirmation to start changing your thinking and changing your attitude to be more positive. 
            Changing your attitude and thinking does not happen overnight.  If you have been a negative person for a long time and say the affirmation, “Yes, I am happy and I am more positive,” you won’t wake up tomorrow and be a positive person.  The change takes time, and it takes energy.  A negative attitude will pop up occasionally, and the best thing to do is just say, “I no longer need that kind of negative thinking.” Accept it and move on.  After you realize you are thinking in a negative way, say the positive affirmation again and again.  It will take you around 30 days to change your attitude from negative to positive.  It takes around 30 days to change anything for long-term success.  Don’t beat yourself up if you start thinking in a more positive way and tomorrow you start thinking in a negative way, because it takes time to retrain your mind to think in a more positive way.
            The one thing I tell every client I have is don’t give up.  You will go back to thinking in a negative way because you are used to doing this.  A negative attitude about life can’t be changed overnight.  It can be changed, but it might take a few weeks. 
            This goes for anything in your life; if you want to go to bed an hour or two earlier every night, it will take a while before your body gets used to the new bedtime.  The same is true for our thoughts. You start thinking in a positive way, but the negative thoughts or the negative attitude comes back.  Brush it aside and keep saying your positive affirmations, and in time, you will become a more positive person.  It won’t be easy, but good things are not always easy in life.  Remember, more people will want to be around a positive person than a negative person. 
            Thoughts can change your life if you are willing to make the change.  Change is not always easy or fun, but it will change your life for the better.  Never give up and keep moving forward.  You can do anything in this world if you just think you can. 
            

 
            Everything you think and say creates the life you have right now.  If you think in a negative way long-term, you will create negative results.  If you change your thoughts and think in a positive way, you can create positive results.  It is true; your thoughts create your life.  It does not matter if you think in a negative way or a positive way, you will get it.  Think of it this way; when you think or say a thought, it goes out to the universe and comes back to you.  The universe does not care if you think in a positive way or a negative way. It just comes back to you.  This is why I tell everyone to think in a positive way.
            The great thing about thoughts is we can change our thoughts. We can change the way we think.  In these examples below, I will show you how to change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts.  Remember you can do anything if you just think you can. Your thoughts are so much more powerful than anyone has ever told you.
            Thinking in a negative way for a long time can make a person attract what they are thinking about.  For example, let’s use a person who says, “I hate my life.” When a person says this over and over again, they will believe it to be true.  Or a person might say, “I feel sad or depressed.” This will create feeling low or depressed in the person’s life.  I try to get clients to understand that, even if you have been thinking in a negative way for a long time, you can change your thoughts to help create a new reality in your life. 
            With this being said, this is not something you can change overnight.  Changing our thinking and our thoughts is easy to do, but it takes time to change your reality.  The reality is, if you have been doing anything for a long time, it will take time for you to change the behavior.  Thoughts can be changed quickly, but you will still think in a negative way.  This is because you have been thinking in a negative way for so long that it’s very natural.   I want you to give yourself enough time to change your thoughts.
            It will be different for everyone on how much time it will take to change your thoughts.  For me, it took a little over a month to notice a difference in my thinking.  When I was feeling low, I would automatically think in a negative way.  When I would wake up, I would think to myself what a crappy day, and I feel depressed.  When I changed my thinking to be more positive, it was not overnight. I had this shift.  It took a month to see small changes. 
            I am telling you this so, after a few weeks of you not noticing any difference in your life and your thinking, you won’t give up.  Giving up is not an option.  It takes time to change your life, and in the end, you will be a great, happy person because you did not give up.
            Remember the affirmations above, “I hate my life” and “I feel sad or depressed” are examples of negative affirmations.  These are just examples, but you have to change these negative affirmations to be more positive.  I would say, “Yes, I feel happy and healthy” and “Yes, I love my life.”  Can you see the difference?  One is very negative, while the other affirmations are very positive.  Saying these positive affirmations won’t change your life overnight.  It might take a month or two to see little changes in your life.  But you will see the changes and don’t give up.  What I realized is people normally give up too quickly before they see any change.  Or they give up when they see little changes because they want a big change.  Don’t give up. Change happens, but it might be slow to start.  Once you give up, you will basically have to start over.  If you have been doing positive affirmations for a month and give up, it’s like you wasted a whole month of your life.  You will then have to start over at day one.  It’s very frustrating, I know, when you work at being positive and you see no results.  You must keep going; you must not give up.  Giving up is not an option. You can do anything in this world if you just think you can. 
         Once you make the choice to be positive, keep being positive for the rest of your life.  Once you make that commitment, you will be happy with your life; just never give up.
            I always tell people, if you are depressed, please ask for help.  Go see your doctor and get checked.  Sometimes, our thoughts can make us depressed; other times, it’s something else.  I know, if serotonin levels are low in a person’s brain, it can make a person depressed.  It’s always a good idea to get checked.  There is nothing in the world wrong with asking for help.
            

     Breakups can be very challenging and very hard on people.  We all wonder, what did I do or what could I have done better.  Breakups can bring people down and make us sad or depressed.  We wonder what we could have done to make the relationship work, how we could have done this or that differently.  In this article, I will show you a few techniques you can use to get over a breakup. 
     First, don’t blame yourself.  Blaming yourself will not help you.  It will just make you feel worse, and I want you to feel wonderful.  You are perfect, and someone is out there waiting to date and love you.  You are just what the person is looking for. 
     Second, never put yourself down.  Putting yourself down just destroys your self-esteem, and this will make it harder to get over your ex.  Let me explain.  When you have no self-esteem and you keep putting yourself down or asking, “why me”, you send that out to other people.  People will know you don’t like or think highly of yourself, and no one will want to date you.  Here is an affirmation for great self-esteem.  “YES, I know I am wonderful, and I have a lot to offer the next person I date.”  Now, if you keep saying this affirmation, you will have great respect for yourself, and this is what you will show the world.   
     Third, loving yourself, first, before you date anyone new is key to a successful relationship.  I say this because, if you don’t love and respect yourself, how can you expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to respect and love you?  It goes hand in hand.  Loving yourself is the best gift you can give yourself and your partner.  Here is an affirmation for loving yourself, “YES, I love and approve of myself every day.”
     The healing process after a breakup is different for each person.  Each breakup is a different set of circumstances, but the one thing that is the same is it causes us pain and suffering.  Believe in yourself that you have a lot to offer someone new.  Believe you are a great partner and you love yourself.  Loving yourself is hard, at times, especially after a breakup.  I don’t care what anyone else has told you; you must love yourself.  Every day, I tell myself, “YES, I love and approve of myself.”  Even if you don’t believe it, in time, you will. 
     Envision what you want your next boyfriend/girlfriend to look like and be like.  What personality does he or she have, what color hair, what things does he or she like to do in free time?  You are trying to get an image in your mind of your perfect match.  I think, at this point, you should try a vision board.  I will talk about vision boards next.
     A vision board can be a white board or a board you pin things on.  You want to put things on your vision board that you want to attract into your life.  So, for example, I would print out things like, “A great girlfriend”, “A great boyfriend”, “We get along wonderfully.”  You print out these sayings, and you put them on your vision board.  This way, when you walk by your vision board, you will see them, and you will envision what it would be like to be with a great boyfriend/girlfriend.  Basically, put anything you want to attract on your vision board.  This way, you will attract it faster because you will see it daily.
     Another great thing to do is put sticky notes on your mirror in your bathroom.  I would put little sayings like, “YES, I love and approve of myself.”  This way, every morning and evening, when I am washing my face, I will see this message, and I will repeat it.  It might seem silly, but the vision board and sticky notes work.  Try it for a month and see how you feel.  I bet you will feel great.
     Again, I just want to make sure you understand that you are perfect just how you are.  You had a bad breakup, yes, but you can get over it, and you can move on.  Just start loving yourself and affirming, “YES, I love and approve of myself,” and saying, “YES, I have a great new boyfriend or girlfriend, and we get along wonderfully.”
     My point is you can do it. I know you can.  You can have a great new relationship, and you can start loving yourself today.  Take that first step, and you will have a great happy life.

    Thoughts create your world.  If you think a thought over and over again, you will get it.  Here is an example: if someone says, “I am depressed”, and they say this over and over again, they will most likely become depressed.  Even if a person just says, “I am sad” over and over again, the person will become sadder and more depressed.  It’s like old saying, “The better it gets, the better it gets.  The worse it gets, the worse it gets.”  Life is like this. If you think a negative thought long enough, you will manifest it in your life.  If you think a positive thought long enough, you will get positive results. 
            You must turn your negative thought into positive thoughts.  Let’s look at the same saying, “I am depressed.” I would tell this client to say, “YES, I am happy and content in my life.”  This way, you turn your negative thought into a positive thought.  Every time you want to say the negative affirmation, “I am depressed”, replace it with your new positive affirmation, “YES, I am happy and content in my life.”  It will take time, but in a few weeks, instead of automatically thinking of depression, you will think of being happy. 
            Sometimes, clients will come to me, and we discuss changing our thoughts from negative to positive and they want instant results.  This process takes time and hard mental work.  You will revert to thinking in a negative way.  This is because you’re so used to thinking in a negative way, it’s very natural for you.  When you start thinking in a negative way, just think to yourself or say out loud, “I don’t need these thoughts anymore.”  Repeat this process every time you think of a negative thought.  In a few weeks, you will reprogram your brain to stop thinking in a negative way.  In time, you will think in a positive way automatically, just like you think in a negative way, right now.
            I know, for me, this process works.  For people who have read my articles, you know I have suffered from depression in some form or another most of my adult life.  I changed my negative thinking into positive thinking.  It took months of thinking in a more positive way to get small results, but I did.  I never gave up, and it really helped me eventually.
            Another great exercise to do is, as you’re saying your positive affirmation, “YES, I am happy and content in my life”, I want you to envision what that looks like in your mind.  So, I would envision myself having fun, going out with friends, and laughing.  I would think of myself hiking up a mountain and looking at the great view when I got to the top.  Each person will be different, so you just have to think of things that make you smile and happy.
            Another great exercise I have learned and read about is to look at yourself in the mirror for two minutes and smile.  I know what you’re thinking; I’m nuts.  But if you smile and look at yourself in the mirror, you can’t help but feel a little better.  Now, you should know that smiling is good for you.  Even if you don’t feel like smiling, smile. It will make you happy on the inside, and you will show it on the outside. 
            Now, depression and mental disorders are very serious, and if you are depressed, you should ask your doctor for help.  There is nothing in the world wrong with asking for help.  If you need to be on medication, there is nothing wrong with that.  My personal belief is there is a form of medicine for everyone. 
My point is, what works for me or anyone else might not work for you.  The same is true for you. You might have found a great system that works for you, but it might not work for someone else you know.  This is why I love being alive right now.  With this article, I can share with you what has worked for me, and it might help people, and I hope you, as the reader, would do the same.  If you find something that helps your depression, tell people.   It can’t hurt, and it might help someone.  Never be ashamed of asking for help.        
            If I can be of any help, please let me know.  I know, having and dealing with depression can be hard and frustrating, but trust me; a brighter day is right around the corner.  Just don’t give up.  You are a very special person.

 Sometimes, we find ourselves in relationships we don’t want to be in anymore.  Sometimes, we wonder how we got to this point in our lives.  All is not lost, my friends. We all have issues in relationships, and sometimes, we all wonder how we got to this point.  However, almost every relationship can be saved or made better.
    Relationships are difficult most of the time.  They take work and, sometimes, a lot of work.  Here are tips for saving a relationship, even if you think it’s not possible now.  Every relationship can be saved if you want to save it.  On the other hand, if you have given up, then that relationship will never work.  You manifest what you think about. If you think a relationship can be saved, it will be saved. If you think the relationship is doomed, it will be doomed.  As the old saying goes, the better it gets, the better it gets, and the worse it gets, the worse it gets.  It’s the same thing.  If you think anything will happen to you, good or bad, most likely, it will happen.  It’s the law of attraction working in your life.
    Don’t give up on your relationship. It’s very simple, but many people give up when things get hard, or they give up when they don’t want to work on the relationship.  Good relationships might not have always been good.  Normally, good or great relationships take a lot of work.  The point is don’t give up, because great relationships take a lot of work.
    Communication is key when trying to save any relationship.  Talk to each other and tell your partner how you feel.  What makes you upset about your partner?  Tell him or her how you feel.  Don’t hold back; holding back got you into this spot you’re in.  You need to communicate with each other, maybe for the first time; really talk and listen.  Don’t be judgmental.  What do I mean by that?  I mean, if my partner tells me I hurt his feelings, most of the time, I would say, “No, I never do that.”  Let it go and try and see it from your partner’s point of view.  Sometimes, this is hard for people, but it’s well worth it.
    For the next 30 days, I want you to keep a journal and, every day, write down why you started dating your boyfriend or girlfriend.  What made you want to date him or her?  What made you like them?  Write it all down, and at the end of 30 days, give it to your boyfriend or girlfriend and have them read it. 
    Write down the things they used to do for you when you started dating.  For example, when you started going out, did he bring you flowers or write you notes?  Did you write your man notes and tell him how much you loved him?  These little things sometimes go away after people have been together for a long time or have gotten married.  What am I trying to say is, start doing things for your partner.  Bring your girlfriend flowers; tell your boyfriend you really appreciate him.  Tell them how special they are.  Try to bring back that spark you had at the start of your relationship.  The spark is still there; it’s just been forgotten.
    Don’t give up. Giving up is not the answer when you are having issues in a relationship.  Relationships are supposed to be great and happy.  Yes, sometimes, we hit a speed bump, but it’s possible to get over the speed bump and move forward.  Remember, you started dating your partner because you liked him or her.  My guess is, you still love your partner, but all the crap that has gotten in the way has clouded your judgment.  Here is an affirmation for a wonderful relationship. “YES, my relationship is wonderful.  We support each other in every way, and we love each other every day.”
    Don’t give up; keep going and try to see things from your partner’s point of view.  Sometimes, when you think of things in another way, things just fall into place.  You can save any relationship if you want to.

     After a breakup or a divorce, the first thing I tell clients is to love yourself, first, before you even think of dating again.  Often, after a breakup, we think we did something wrong.  Even if it’s not our fault, we still might think we did something wrong.  Even if it was something we did, we can’t dwell on the past.  If you dwell on the past, it normally will only bring you sorrow and sadness. 
     Some people, after a breakup, feel they are not complete and immediately start dating again, or they try to find someone to date quickly.  This can be a mistake, because you normally need a little time to heal.  Now, I don’t mean to tell you that you need to dwell on the past or the mistakes that led to the breakup, but having a little time to reflect and heal from the breakup normally will make the next relationship stronger.  We learn from our mistakes, and we grow.
   The next step is don’t be hard on yourself.  Breakups and divorces happen, and sometimes, we have no control over it.  But all too often, we, as people who suffered through the breakup or divorce, become hard on ourselves.  We try to figure out what we did wrong.  We wrack our brains, trying to figure out what we did wrong and what we could have done differently, but in the end, it does not matter.  It might just drive us nuts trying to figure things out.  Just let it go and don’t dwell on it.  It really is not good for your health. 
     When it’s over, it’s over, no matter whose fault it is.  The things I try to get people to realize is, we can’t let our self-esteem go downhill.  Even after a breakup or a divorce, you are still a great person, and you have a lot to offer someone.  But loving yourself first is key to moving on.   
     I think what helps the most is saying to yourself, “I love myself fully.”  I think that statement is key to loving yourself and moving on.  I love what Louise Hay has said for years; she says to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you” and give it even more energy by putting your name in there, so I would say, “I love you, Tony. I really love you.”  Look at yourself in the mirror and really look into your eyes.  This is a powerful affirmation.  I love the work Louise Hay has done over her career.  I have many of her books and audio CDs.  I would recommend her work to anyone interested in affirmations and self-love.
     I know all too well, sometimes, during a breakup, our ex will tell us it’s our fault and basically what we did wrong.  Now, like I said above, it does not matter if it’s our fault or your ex’s fault for the breakup; it’s over, and it did not work.  Forgiveness is a great step to move forward.  If you think it’s your fault that the breakup happened, just say this, “I totally forgive myself for everything that caused the breakup or divorce.” 
Now, do the same thing for your ex. Say, “I forgive my ex for everything that he or she did during the breakup.”  Please remember these are just examples; if you or your ex-did something specific, you can put that into your forgiveness statement.  The main point is, forgiveness can be very healing for ourselves. 
     Please understand forgiveness is not for the person you are forgiving; it’s for you.  When you hold onto being upset or mad at your ex, the only person it will hurt is you.  Your ex might not care at all that you’re upset or sad, but it will affect you in many ways.  Being upset or sad is not good for your healing in the long run.  Now, while I say this, we all get upset and sad during and right after a breakup. This is very normal.  It’s not normal or healthy to hold onto that hurt or sadness long-term.  This is what I am talking about when I say you can’t hold onto being upset or mad at your ex.  This is why you forgive your ex for hurting you, and you forgive yourself.  Forgiveness will set you free.  It will make you feel better, and you will feel differently after you forgive your ex and yourself.
     The one thing I want to make crystal clear is please don’t hold a grudge or hate your ex.  It will only hurt you, not your ex.  The way we feel and treat ourselves will mean more than what anyone thinks of us.  Loving yourself can change your life.