Breakups can be very challenging and very hard on people. We all wonder, what did I do or what could I have done better. Breakups can bring people down and make us sad or depressed. We wonder what we could have done to make the relationship work, how we could have done this or that differently. In this article, I will show you a few techniques you can use to get over a breakup.
First, don’t blame yourself. Blaming yourself will not help you. It will just make you feel worse, and I want you to feel wonderful. You are perfect, and someone is out there waiting to date and love you. You are just what the person is looking for.
Second, never put yourself down. Putting yourself down just destroys your self-esteem, and this will make it harder to get over your ex. Let me explain. When you have no self-esteem and you keep putting yourself down or asking, “why me”, you send that out to other people. People will know you don’t like or think highly of yourself, and no one will want to date you. Here is an affirmation for great self-esteem. “YES, I know I am wonderful, and I have a lot to offer the next person I date.” Now, if you keep saying this affirmation, you will have great respect for yourself, and this is what you will show the world.
Third, loving yourself, first, before you date anyone new is key to a successful relationship. I say this because, if you don’t love and respect yourself, how can you expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to respect and love you? It goes hand in hand. Loving yourself is the best gift you can give yourself and your partner. Here is an affirmation for loving yourself, “YES, I love and approve of myself every day.”
The healing process after a breakup is different for each person. Each breakup is a different set of circumstances, but the one thing that is the same is it causes us pain and suffering. Believe in yourself that you have a lot to offer someone new. Believe you are a great partner and you love yourself. Loving yourself is hard, at times, especially after a breakup. I don’t care what anyone else has told you; you must love yourself. Every day, I tell myself, “YES, I love and approve of myself.” Even if you don’t believe it, in time, you will.
Envision what you want your next boyfriend/girlfriend to look like and be like. What personality does he or she have, what color hair, what things does he or she like to do in free time? You are trying to get an image in your mind of your perfect match. I think, at this point, you should try a vision board. I will talk about vision boards next.
A vision board can be a white board or a board you pin things on. You want to put things on your vision board that you want to attract into your life. So, for example, I would print out things like, “A great girlfriend”, “A great boyfriend”, “We get along wonderfully.” You print out these sayings, and you put them on your vision board. This way, when you walk by your vision board, you will see them, and you will envision what it would be like to be with a great boyfriend/girlfriend. Basically, put anything you want to attract on your vision board. This way, you will attract it faster because you will see it daily.
Another great thing to do is put sticky notes on your mirror in your bathroom. I would put little sayings like, “YES, I love and approve of myself.” This way, every morning and evening, when I am washing my face, I will see this message, and I will repeat it. It might seem silly, but the vision board and sticky notes work. Try it for a month and see how you feel. I bet you will feel great.
Again, I just want to make sure you understand that you are perfect just how you are. You had a bad breakup, yes, but you can get over it, and you can move on. Just start loving yourself and affirming, “YES, I love and approve of myself,” and saying, “YES, I have a great new boyfriend or girlfriend, and we get along wonderfully.”
My point is you can do it. I know you can. You can have a great new relationship, and you can start loving yourself today. Take that first step, and you will have a great happy life.
I'm a life coach in California. Contact me if you have any questions.